Out of Seven Billion, You Only Need a Few!

Don’t you hate that sometimes in this life we encounter people who misunderstand us? Perhaps they are family members, people in our community, friends or critics of various kinds. Since Second Wind came out, I’ve had emails from readers who tell me about unkindesses they’ve faced in their lives. Some have been judged to be lazy because they are overweight; some have been denigrated in abusive relationships for years before they found a way out; and still others have been through dark and difficult times (like the loss of a loved one) and have had to listen to well-meaning (but misunderstanding) people speak clichés to them which only increased the pain. These same readers have shared with me how running (or other forms of strenuous exercise) has provided a way to come face to face with the self in a fresh way and heal from the pressure to meet other people’s standards.

The thing is, there are voices everywhere telling us who to be---or who not to be. The media are typical culprits, pressuring men and women to behave (i.e., spend money) in a certain way, but there are other voices, too. Every family has expectations of its members, and in some families, if you decide those expectations don’t fit for you, there are high prices to pay in the form of judgment and pressure to re-conform. Even groups of friends (or church communities, work staffs, or volunteer groups) have implicit agreements about the roles each member gets to play. When you decide to step outside of the norm, other people get anxious. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you’ve either never stepped outside of the expectations others have for you or you’re the only person on the planet who is surrounded by perfectly understanding people who totally support whatever you do and never fail to understand where you’re coming from, and I’m happy for you.

The rest of us live in a world where some people on some days cannot see us, do not want to be curious about who we really are and wish we were more like them. I recently read a review of my book from a reader who hated it. S/he missed the point altogether and accused me of all kinds of things I don’t think are true of how I represented myself in the story. So, like you, the reader of this blog, I have to live with being misunderstood. And how will I do that? Just like you do. We get some time alone on the trails (or in meditation, yoga, hiking, the quiet of a church sanctuary). We remember the irrefutable fact that there are almost seven billion people on earth and some of them simply will not get us, like us or want to be around us. But out of all those seven billion souls there is likely to be a handful who thinks we’re cool. We run/walk/dance/ride to where those people live, get cheered up and then get back to our lives, living as authentically as we know how.

If you, like me, have had a negative voice intrude on your energy or trajectory this week, don’t let it take the wind from your sail. Take heart. You don’t need everyone to love you. You only need a few.

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things

Just at this very moment, we have sunshine in Bellingham. Have I ever mentioned that sunshine is one of my very favorite things? I love what it does to me. Sunshine lifts my mood, gives me permission to smile and invites me to take my dogs for a walk. I have other favorite things that make me happy just because they exist.

But February has been a hard month for me. It started well enough - with a fabulous writing workshop that left me reveling in the glow of other creative types. Unfortunately, this was followed by a series of bad news phone messages about sudden illnesses befalling people that matter to me. The most recent difficult news was that my dear friend and confidante had her beautiful, healthy baby girl, but also had serious complications post delivery. Since my girlfriend is someone I can't do without, I was overwhelmed with concern for her and her whole family as they waited in ICU for her body to heal.

It wasn't until after I was sure she was on the mend that I crashed and gave in to a good long cry, holding my delayed grief and fear with as much compassion as I could muster in my tired state. That was last Saturday. Sunday I went out for a six mile run and spent more than an hour with my distracted thoughts, letting them come and go as they pleased.

Now, finally, on Thursday, I'm calmer and have caught up on all the things I didn't do around my house last week. I'm looking at the sunshine outside my window and reflecting on what gives me joy, even during the hard things.
Here's my short list:

Watching people meet their goals. Whether I'm watching a client finally take that first step to live out her lifelong creative dream to become a writer or watching a budding marathoner take on his training with a vengeance (as I'm doing in the case of my friend Brandon Nobach), I adore seeing people's faces when they start to move in their preferred direction.

Nonprofits that do good work. I could list a hundred non-profit organizations that make me happy, but two of my favorites are Street Youth Ministries and the Bellingham Sister City Association. One supports homeless and disenfranchised young people in getting off the streets of Seattle, and the other facilitates "people to people diplomacy" between Americans and individuals from other cultures around the world. Yay for good work. It reminds me that there is balance in this life.

Talking with people who hold different world views. Every time I travel, my taken-for-granted ideas about life and right and wrong are challenged. That's a good thing because it makes my own world feel bigger. When I can't travel, I read. Right now I'm reading Radical Acceptance: Embracing your life with the heart of a Buddha by Tara Brach. Buddhism offers some interesting ways of approaching pain and longing. My mind is expanding as we speak....

Dogs. As is well documented (because I say it all the time), I love dogs. Mine both need baths at the moment, but as stinky as they are, I'm gonna let them curl up on my lap and give me some of their happy-just-to-be-with-you warm energy today.

Friends. I have the best friends in the world, of that I'm sure. My friends have cried with me through the darkest of times and shared good times of hilarity with me, too. Right now, I'm making new friends during my Monday and Wednesday workouts with Carol Frazey and her Fit School for Women. When women run together, they inevitably share their thoughts and dreams and griefs with one another. There's always room for a new friend, don't you think?

Love. Last but not least, I love being in love. Valentine's day was only ten days ago. Bill and I reconnected with each other nine years ago in February and we always celebrate getting reacquainted on Valentine's day. I am grateful and peaceful nowadays largely because I have him in my life. On a hard day, he's the best medicine.

So, when the dog bites, when the bee stings, when you're feeling sad... what makes you happy again? What are your favorite things?

Getting to the Core of the Issue

Session two of the 6-Week Fit School Running/Walking Program is under my belt as of this morning. On Monday, Carol had us do a one-mile time trial. I came in at 9:33, and I seriously can’t see how anyone can run the mile any faster than that (though I’ve witnessed it with my own eyes).

Today we ran fast on the straight part of the track and slow on the curves for fifteen minutes. Then we did “the ladder”: One minute fast, one slow; two minutes fast, one slow – and so on. This was followed by some core work.

I cannot tell a lie. I hate core work and my core is, thusly, very weak. At a “kettlebell” workout (I think that’s what it’s called) I went to recently with a friend, the instructor told me that he could see my core was not strong, but reassured me that a weak core was normal for women who had given birth. When I told him I’d never had children he raised his eyebrows and said, “Are you sure?” Um… Yeah, I’m pretty sure.

So, since I’m in the throes of having to come up with goals for the Fit School Program, I’m thinking that strengthening my core should be on the list. The core is, after all, well… the center of your body where all your guts live and off of which your limbs grow. It’s important, the core.

Other goals include but are not limited to: improving running technique, stretching better, longer and more often, getting my workout over in the morning two days a week, making new friends and running stronger. Notice that running the mile faster is not on my list.

What are your fitness goals right now?

Getting Ready for Spring!

Well, it hasn’t been an easy year of running for me, so far. After the marathon in Las Vegas in December, I made the decision to take a break from marathons through the end of January. I actually ran nine marathons in 2010, but I only enjoyed seven of them. My last two races, Portland and Las Vegas, were painful because of the plantar fasciitis in my right foot and, although I hate to admit it, my body and soul both felt tired.

One of the hard things to learn as a woman (and perhaps even harder for a man) is how to listen to what the body needs and wants. We are so easily caught up in image and social demands that when the foot whispers, “Ouch. Let me take a break, please,” we may not want to hear. Or when the quads say, “Hey lady, try some other activity for a few days and give me a breather,” we may just plug our ears and sing louder along with the tune playing on our iPod.

I made the mistake at the close of 2010 of not listening to my body. When I crossed the finish line in Anchorage in August, my foot hurt like a mother. I took advantage of one of those free massages after the race, and when I stood up, pain shot through my body like lightening. I couldn’t walk back to our rental car, and I didn’t know what had happened. I’d never fallen or twisted anything or even taken a single misstep during the race. I hadn’t felt much more than a little bit of soreness on the course itself, so I really didn’t understand why I had so much discomfort.

If I’d been attending to my body as is within my value system, I would have pushed pause at that moment and stopped putting in so many miles until my foot gave me the go-ahead. But I had two more marathons on my schedule. I wanted to tick off Oregon and Nevada from the 50 States goal. And this meant training up to the marathon distance, which meant putting in a lot of miles between races.

After the Las Vegas marathon, I made a promise to myself that I would take a month off---from marathons and training for marathons, that is. I gave myself a few guidelines

**Run no more than six miles at a time
**Run no more than three times per week
**Run most of the month on my shock-absorbing treadmill in the garage while watching last season’s episodes of Big Love on DVD
**Supplement running with other kinds of exercise so I keep a decent base fitness level intact

Well, the good news is that I think my rules are working. Not only is my foot getting better (it’s still not quite back to normal), but I’m starting to miss running somethin’ awful. And that’s a good thing. Mostly because of the pain, but possibly also because my life was a tiny bit out of balance last year, the hard-earned joy of running had dissipated for me. I feel it coming back---that longing to strap on my running belt and muck through the puddles for a couple of hours.

One of the things I’m doing to get back into the groove is that I’m joining Carol Frazey’s 6-Week Running/Walking Program for Women starting on Monday, February 7 at 8:30 am at Civic Field here in Bellingham. I’ve always shied away from the track workouts that Bill goes to because I’m so slow and noncompetitive in my approach to running, but that’s what makes Carol’s runing/walking program for women perfect. I hope others will join me in picking up the pace in February. No matter why you’ve taken some time away from running or walking, it’s a good time to start again!

Calling Bellingham Women: Let's Pick up the Pace!

This is a post especially for women local to me - in or near Bellingham, but I hope it serves as an encouragement to all of you who follow this blog, local or not (woman or not).

If you've wanted 2011 to be a year of health, a year of taking good care of yourself, body and mind, check out Carol Frazey's six week Fit for School Walking/Running Program. ALL LEVELS are welcome, so if you can't run because of injury or pain, put on your walking shoes instead; there's no shame in walking. If you do run and simply want to improve your pace or form, this is for you, too!! I can wholeheartedly recommend Carol. She knows what she's doing and she's a supportive listener. Her program is only $97 for the whole six weeks (12 sessions) or $10 to drop in.

If you're not a Bellinghamster, don't fret. Almost every U.S. town has a good running club, a community involved running store or a local branch of USA Fit, the terrific national run/walking training program. I've heard from lots of readers who are training for a marathon or half-marathon this year. Look for a schedule that works for you and let's get started!!

The Red Wheelbarrow Writers' Series

Just as much as I love and am committed to running, I love and am committed to the craft of writing, too. And I'm so deliriously pleased to be participating (along with my friend and mentor, novelist Laura Kalpakian, our mutual writerly friend, Susan Tive) in the creation of the Red Wheelbarrow Writers' Series beginning in February. We've developed a three-part writers' workshop to encourage writers in their work and in building community with other writers. If you've never taken a class or workshop from Laura, you're in for a treat. Her feedback is suitable and helpful for writers doing any kind of narrative writing (memoir, fiction, children's fiction, etc.).

Description:

This three-month workshop which will focus on the cycle of practice, process and publishing for writers. Each month will build on and enhance writers’ skills and awareness. Below is a description of what each day-long workshop has in store as well as information about the location and how to pay for the series.

February 5: Practice

This first session will spotlight the creation and development of strong characterization and narrative voice. Writers of fiction and nonfiction will discover how to populate their pages with memorable people. Participants will learn through written prompts and theatrical techniques.

March 5: Process

In this second session writers will have the opportunity to further develop their narrative skills and will begin to write their query letters for an agent or editor. Participants will also unearth their natural strengths to enhance their writing process.

April 2: Publish

For the final session, special industry guests will answer writers’ questions with regard to the publishing process. Participants will revise and receive feedback on their query letters.

“So much depends…” on community. At Red Wheelbarrow, we are committed to building community among writers. All three sessions will include occasions to connect with others.

Cost: $350 - includes all three-day workshops. Does not include lunch.

Times and Location:

Each session will take place at the Chrysalis Inn and Spa (http://www.thechrysalisinn.com/) located at 804 10thStreet, Bellingham. Parking is available on the street above the building or in the garage below.

Workshops run from 9:00am to 5:00pm.

How to sign up:

Send an email to clostman@live.com to reserve your space. Then send your check for $350 to Cami Ostman at PO Box 29043, Bellingham, WA 98228. You may also pay by Paypal using the email clostman@live.com. Please respond as soon as possible to secure your spot.

Link to article from the Bellingham Herald.

What is your New Year's resolution?

I'll bet you dollars to donuts that if you're reading this site, your New Year's Resolutions have something to do with running or fitness, or maybe travel. In my writing, I tend to focus on the spiritual, psychological and even cultural insights I get from running, but that isn't because I don't get amazing physical benefits. I mean, I'm stronger and more fit than I've ever been in my life because of these last few years of marathoning around the globe. Still, I feel like there's a lot I could do to move in a healthier direction. I'm sort of notorious for eating comfort food (think a big plate of steak fries with mayo and ketchup) for dinner, and cheese (of all kinds - even processed) is like a staple in my diet instead of a condiment as it is for most people. And while I know I'll never eat perfectly or exercise perfectly (or sleep, or drink or communicate perfectly), there's always room for improvement, right? But how?

My friend and fellow runner has some help for me and for families who want to make a commitment to improve their fitness and nutrition this year. Author, teacher and health professional Carol Frazey has a one-year plan for us. In her e-new book, The Fit School Plan - 1 Year to a Nutritionally and Physically Fit Life, she'll guide you and me and our families toward better health.

What do you say? Will you join me in making improvements to our health this year? You don't have to run a MARATHON to get healthier, for goodness sake (though, I certainly wouldn't discourage you if want to train for one this year!!!). You just have to find a reasonable plan that works for you and give it a go.

So check out Carol's book - a terrific, afordable and reliable resource! And let me know what your resolutions are this year. I'd like to follow along and be your cheerleader!